Tuesday, June 29, 2010

awk. ward.

apparently this guy believes the best way to handle awkward topics is to get them all out of the way right at the intro.

Where do I start? Well; I am originally from Tanzania of Indian heritage. I immigrated to Canada in 1991 and since then I have been to Nunavut for four and seen a bit of Ontario and settled in BC since 1994. I am a social worker by profession and I promise one thing about me is that you will enjoy talking to me if nothing else : ). I love politics, social interaction, I tend to be socially concious, love activities, travel, reading etc. Interestingly I have not been in a long term relationship and I am in my fourties! OK I will let you go; I hope to hear back from you!By the way; I am seeking a long term relationship. Touch wood.

touch wood i don't run into him at the coffee shop one day. eek.

Monday, June 21, 2010

not sure which is worse...

the fact that the dog looks f*ing TERRIFIED or the fact that he clearly took the photo himself in his own little studio set-up.

monday night is a night of winners.

good to know.

day 1 and i'm done.


the one thing i forget when i'm not dating is that dating is a serious pain in the a$$.
i went on my first POF date yesterday. while i'd LOVE to blog all about it, he's fairly tech-savy and i'm a bit scared he might stalk me on facebook and then read my all about it here.

so instead, i'm going to procrastinate the mounds of work i needed to do tonight and take the next 20 minutes blogging about what NOT to do when online dating.

i probably won't meditate tonight, but trust me, this'll be equally fulfilling.

RULE #1: just because we finally meet and i turned out to not be a leper or a guy who's real name is 'bubba', you do not now have free rights to begin telling me about all of your horrendous online dating experiences. we've all been there. the only reason why we go online is because a friend of a friend of a friend swears their sister/brother has a coworker who met their husband/wife online even deep down we're all fairly certain it's just an urban legend. please do not further remind me of how much it sucks and subsequently add yourself to my own personal 'list'.

RULE #2: when meeting for the first time in person, it's great to keep it casual. beer in the park--nice. tall-boys from your backpack while walking downtown, notsonice. although who doesn't like the threat of open intox on a sunday afternoon.

RULE #3: i do not need to hear the word 'ex' EVER. and i mean EVER. i like to think that before me, all other women repelled you. hearing you talk about your ex during a first date is only an indication of what i will hear for THE REST OF OUR RELATIONSHIP.

RULE #4: do not name drop. this does not impress me. i do not care if you know the DJ, the chef, or the pope.

RULE #5: do not email me between the hours of 1-7 AM. same goes with texting.


RULE #7: if i don't email you back, it means i'm probably not interested. emailing me to the point of carrying on your own personal conversation will not score you 'cute' points. and when i DO finally email you to ask you to stop, please do not accuse me of being uptight. the only reason why i didn't tell you to f*** off was because you now know what i look like.

and it's only day 2.

best reply to my ad yet.

to get this dating contest started (PS-yesterday was officially day 1), we put our profiles up on plentyoffish.com, a free dating site.

and let me tell ya....i've been reeling 'em in. they seem to bite during the hours of 2 and 3 am though...not sure what that's all about.

best reply yet?

my pic:

his reply:

(that's not him, thank GOD.)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

dating contest rules-update

two new amendums:

1. it does not count as two dates if you wake up next to him the following morning and there will be no additional bonus points awarded if you sleep with him.

2. a date with a one-eyed pirate lesbian=automatic win. if she has a peg-leg that's an additional bonus...but just for you.

mother f***ing marc jacobs.

seriously marc? i hate that i love you.

how perfect would this be with just a heathered grey cotton tank from american apparel and a pair of navy high waisted shorts?

and seriously? i live in f***ing vancouver. of COURSE i need this!

Friday, June 11, 2010

the dating contest.

we take life far too seriously....especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
i seem to have a particularly hard time.

i've tried all the dating sites. match. e-harmony (no matches, thankyouverymuch), even plenty of fish. i got picked up on myspace a couple of times too, come to think of it.

either way, the only thing any of these sites has given me is the self-dubbed title 'queen of the first date'. i think i went on roughly 7 or 8 last year alone. painful.

so to get over this first date hump, or at least to rack up some more and to kick off this summer of awesome i'm embarking in a...

dating contest.

the rules are simple.
-one date=one social function with a person with romantic intentions in mind.
-dates have no time minimum. a bad date is a bad date. there's no need to suffer if you need to bail.
-multiple dates with the same person can be counted as long as they occur as specifically different functions. i.e. dinner and a movie does not count. dinner and a movie still doesn't count even if you are at dinner, the subject of a new movie comes up and you then decide to go and see the movie after dinner. dinner and a movie DOES count if it happens on separate occasions i.e. different days.

at the end the winner is whomever has the most dates racked up at the end of 30 days.
the winner doesn't really win anything per se, other than some great stories, possibly a future significant other, and maybe the title of 'master dater'.

to start, all participants will be posting some awesome profiles on plentyoffish.com. blind dates and hook ups from friends are also encouraged.

easy enough, right? who's in?

i have to warn you, i'm a bit competitive. while i don't have a ton of friends, i do feel that i have more than enough to warrant a few blind dates. so go out and scrounge up all those single guy friends of yours. i like 'em not too tall, not too short...a little scruffy. cooking skills definitely a plus.

summer of....AWESOME.

i find moving/relocating kind of like getting a tattoo.

the first one is easy.
yeah, it's painful. sure you might wince once or twice...you might even cry a little. maybe you had to close your eyes first and squeeze someone's hand super tight while you did it...maybe even you had to get a little liquored up first before you could commit. either way, you did the deed and like it or not, you learned to live with it.

over time, the memory of how painful the experience was begins to fade. you get accustomed to how things are, where things are, the idea that maybe a butterfly won't look that bad on your hip when you're 80. slowly...you begin to crave something new...that thrill....that sense of adventure...and before you know it, there you are, in the chair....remembering just how much it hurt the first time, wondering just why the hell you thought it was going to be better the second time around, and once again vowing never, ever, EVER to do it again.

a year or two goes by...and maybe you're still cool with that butterfly and his little fairy friend. maybe you're still happy with your dynamic little duo. or...maybe...just maybe...you want another. barbed wire across the small of your back, 'love' in chinese. 'just breath' on your rib cage. whatever it may be...and once again, you're in the chair listening to the hum of the needle gritting your teeth screaming in your head 'for the love of all things holy, i swear this is the last. time.

...until the memory fades once again and....

my history of new jobs and new cities reads as long as my list of tattoos. i've just hit number 14 in the tattoo department, and recently relocated to city number 4.

oh how i love to loathe thee.

new job, new city, 9 months of rain....consider my a$ officially kicked, vancouver.
while the easiest thing to do would be to moan and groan and complain my way back down to the border, i'm taking a stand. no more moaning...no more groaning (although i did do a LOT of both in the past 9 months)

i am hereby declaring that from this day forward it's:
the summer of AWESOME.

Vancouver, you've been consistently named amongst the top 5 best places in the world to live, and damnit, i'm going to find out why.

all you out there--consider yourself warned. because i'm blogging about this awesome summer i'm about to embark on.

starting with....

the dating contest.